TRISTE INCURABILIS

With so little time left in the city that turned me into a woman, its a myriad of emotions that fill me today. I had heard people say they have a love-hate relationship with Delhi, never really quite understood the sentiment till now.

Next time I return to the city I will be married, a state of being as opposed to a state of mind like virginity. And how I perceive the city may change with my changing state of being. It has more to do with the people I have encountered in the 5 years of my stay here that made Delhi(How often your Re-volution has proven but E-volution Roll’d again back on itself in the tides of a civic insanity!.. Tennyson) so special.

The songs have come to me here. It is here that I have danced for myself. It is here that I have learnt to be true to myself even when I was unsure of who I am.

And now when I am moving into another beautiful city of my life, I can only hope that the season finale will be what one wishes for.

Sunshine, I love you
I always will
Can I be faithful until
We're together once again
Someday?
But summer days must come and go
And though we wish it so
Time won't wait for sighs
So summer left and so did we
We turned our backs to the sea
And said our sad goodbyes
Winter seemed so long and cold
I watched the hours grow old
And I think of you
Sunshine you're in my heart
All the time we are apart
Hope you're thinking too

Comments

passer by said…
whoa.. delhi would be touched by your kind words..

good luck pal..in the journey a forth..

must go..
when the sun goes down, shadow..
when bow string pulls,arrow
when new ones to make..memories
when creativity blossoms..drudgery
April 18, 2008 at 7:24 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Benimadhab Benimadhab

Never in my worst nightmares have I ever imagined writing anything titled "Benimadhab Benimadhab". Bengalis who listen to modern bengali music must have already guessed what this could be about but I have a story to share. Didibhai used to listen to a lot of music, especially the radio back in the late 1990s. So naturally I had to listen to a lot of music she liked. She was the one to introduce me to all kinds of music that I associate my memories with. I never quite liked the bengali songs she would listen to. Anjan Dutta and Suman and Nachiketa, the cult music of the time. I was too young to appreciate it, I never understood what they were singing about. Today I can appreciate them even if they aren't my preferred choice of music and I believe not my didibhai's either. It has been more than a decade since Lopamudra's famous song Benimadhab aired for the first time on FM. Didibhai bought the cassette but I failed to understand why such a funny old-fashioned name ...
Read more

And when white moths were on the wing

The best thing about good movies are that no matter how many times you watch them there's always something new that you had not noticed the previous times. It's like peeling an onion only much more pleasant. This time it's The Bridges of Madison County : Robert and Francesca discuss Yates and a while later Francesca goes and pastes a note on the side of the bridge, I could never read what was written on the note because it fades away to quickly. This time I paused to read it, it had a quote from The Song of Wandering Aengus. Aengus is an Irish Mythic character and "probably a god of love, youth and poetic inspiration" and Robert Kincaid is of Irish descent. I think there was a connection made with that poetry and the story of Kincaid. He is an old man and finally found the woman he has dreamt of all his life, tired of all the wandering a being a "citizen of the world" he wants to settle down with this woman but he can't have her. It's a beautif...
Read more

Je ne sais quoi

There are times when dark clouds loom over one's head and the world seems like a big bad place to be in, one might even wish that it would be all over, the world would come to an end as he/she knows it. There are emotions one can feel that have no name. Moments of great joy and prospect of  something may  transform into feelings of bitter disappointment and hopelessness. Sometimes, when one is too deep into it,there are moments when one can feel trapped and liberated all at once followed by numbness and stillness. Things can sometimes seem to move so fast that it gets hard to breath, and at other times in slow motion when you just want the moment to pass by in stead of dragging on.  Talking about it never translates the gravity of the situation, but it will make one wiser when one hears the words tumbling out of his/her mouth with no restraint, or one can hope to be. Human capacity to feel and over-feel, think and over-think is immense, it is what gives shape to lan...
Read more